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I dream of a world where people know how long to p

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I CAN MULTITASK I can ignore several things at onc

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I cannot be held responsible for what my face does

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I child-proofed my house but they still get in.

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I didn't grow up saying with liberty and justice

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I express my individuality through mass-produced b

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I delight in my own filth

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Every piece of furniture in my house is pretty muc

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Establish Dominance by Telling someone you are pra

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Everyone is doing the best they can, which is terr

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Everyone hates millennials until it's time to conv

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Establish dominance in your marriage by being the

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Equal rights for others does not mean less rights

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EVERY DAY IS HUG-YOUR-DOG DAY

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Everything seems fine and yet

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Drinks well with others

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EW, PEOPLE!

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How many cats do I need for people to leave me alo

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Hell hath no fury like me when I'm slightly inconv

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I am pretending to know what you are talking about

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I believed I could and so I did….and now I'm weari

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I am pretending to know what you are talking about

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Hobbies include gardening and hating everything

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I am silently correcting your grammar

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