I open my story at age forty, desperate for help and on the brink of taking my own life. For years I thought I’d checked all the right boxes needed for happiness—career, family, marriage, fame and fortune. All the while I had been running from the wounds within that prevented me from feeling the love and well-being I so wanted. Having come to a point where there was nowhere else to run, I set out on a journey towards curing my urges of self-destruction which required me to confront the truths of the past—from my birth to two teenaged parents, both struggling with addiction, to the haven created by my grandmother who taught me the power of familial love;from my deep friendship with Tupac Shakur that began in high school to my early career breaks and refusal to play the Hollywood game;from my joyful embrace of motherhood to the complicated journey I’ve shared with my husband Will Smith, to lessons learned in the best and worst of times—including “the Slap”;from a deepened spiritual quest