If you've always suspected the universe was out to get you… you were right!Yes, the universe we live in is cosmically beautiful and mysterious and all that crap. But it's also a bit of an asshole. After all, remember that you are just a group of atoms structured in a specific way for barely long enough to try to understand this thing we call existence. Those atoms could just have easily been used to make the dog shit you're cleaning off your shoe or the mold that grows on your bread! The fact is, when you zoom out to look at the universe and how it functions, you'll see that it's usually not in our favor, and many of the laws of physics are actively working against our survival. In this book, you'll discover why:You're an aging mutantInvisible rays are melting our genetic codeThe Earth is covered in explosive pimplesLiterally everything is poisonousAnd more true and terrifying scientific facts!But don't worry! While it's true that there are (at least) forty-two grudges to hold against